Insider Tips for Smashing Your Wedding Vows
WEDDING VOW SOS
Is the idea of writing wedding vows FREAKING YOU OUT?
If it is, take a load off. You can do it and it’s not as hard as you think.
Read on for my tips to make it easy as pie.
Brainstorm your thoughts on three categories
1. Things you love about your partner or your relationship.
2. Things you hope for your future together.
3. Promises you want to make.
If you write 3 answers for each of those categories and put an opening and closing line either side you’re pretty much done. Yasss, winning!
It’s popular to choose the same opening and closing line as your partner but you can do whatever you like. You celebrant should assist you with vow writing.
Legally you must include wording to the effect of ‘I ask everyone here to witness that I, Full Name, take you Full name to be my lawfully wedded husband/ wife or you can use lawful partner in marriage.
This part can sit before or after your personal vows.
Wanna know a secret?
You do not have to do personal vows. It’s not a legal requirement. You can just say the legal vows (above) and combine it with a ring exchange.
(You don’t even have to exchange rings legally either).
‘The idea of being up there in front of everyone has me redlining’
Literally 97% of my couples tell me they hate being the centre of attention and are dreading doing their vows. Every single one of them says to me after the ceremony – ‘Nat, I did it and it was fine!’. Choose a calm, experienced celebrant and you’ll nail it. Preparation is key!
‘I’m going to bawl my eyes out’
Lots of people cry in their vows. Just a couple of tears or a catch in the throat. No one I’ve married has ever lost it so spectacularly that they couldn’t keep going. I’ve broken the stress vibe by calling for a drink or uttering a quiet joke- or prompting them to hug each other and breathe it out. No one there gives a shit that you cried. They want to squeeze you and love you. They’re not harsh critics. Weddings are for emotion. All of them. Let em come!
Do I, don’t I?
If you’re on the fence about personal vows- DO IT. They’re so special and such a beautiful part of the ceremony. Regret is a bitter pill.
‘I feel sick about saying them in front of everyone’
If you’re legitimately that nervous about saying them in front of guests- write them in a card for your beloved to read on your wedding morning or at your First Look for real feel energy or read them to each other off mic. That way you’ll get all the emotional photos but it will only be the two of you who hear them.
I can’t write for shit
Actually, I promise you you’ll do much better than you think. You know why? Because you write your raw, honest, unfiltered thoughts, straight from the heart. They might be a bit jumbled and need formatting or spelling corrected but that’s your celebrant’s job IMO. Some of the most beautiful vows I’ve ever read were sent to me by a dyslexic truck driver who told me there was ‘no way’ he could write.
The most important things about vows…
Is that they feel like you. Write openly and don’t try to be too fancy or poetic. Just be you. That way you’ll feel more comfortable saying them out loud but most of all- your partner and your guests will connect to them. If you’re a knockabout larrikin tradie a philosopher’s quote and flowery might be a bit weird.
Don’t try to create romance. Stay true to yourself. You can be heartfelt in many different ways. Your way is the best way.
How long should vows be?
Don’t stress on length. Honestly. It’s common to write about 10-12 lines but if you write 30 and you aren’t rambling or repeating yourself- Imma leave that well alone.
In fact, I rarely change much about vows other than grammar, spelling and format for optimum flow.
Now, go forth and amplify. You can do it!
Images with thanks to Sarah Godenzi and Finder Seeker.
HEY THERE LEGENDS! I’M NAT SPROAL, MELBOURNE WEDDING CELEBRANT, AND AFICIONADO OF ALL THINGS HITCHING-RELATED.
Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog! You’ll find loads of no-BS advice and tips on how to create the day of your dreams - without the wedstress and the drama.
I’m your wing woman and captain of your ship when it comes to having a cruisy, loved-up and utterly memorable and joyous day. Enjoy!
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