The First Look- Yeh or Nah?

Have no bleedin’ idea what a First Look is?

It’s basically seeing each other for the first time before the ceremony. Just you and your soon be partner in marriage- and your photographer/ videographer.

I asked one of my First Look couples and some of my fave legendary Melbourne photographers to weigh in on the pros and cons.

Oli Sansom of Briar’s Atlas (https://briarsatlas.com) is all about the First Look.

“Next to Michael Bolton, first-looks are one of the great American exports. These are often associated with being a bit cheesy - but strip them back and let them just unfold, and they’re actually a beautiful, quirky, hilarious, genuinely romantic bit of the day.

 If you’re dancing with breaking tradition - I should point out here that having seen a lot of first looks - the gravity of seeing your partner come down the aisle will *not* be lessened by seeing them earlier - if anything, amplified).

You can get as creative as you like with it. Sometimes its popping around a corner to see your waiting partner, sometimes you have your backs to each other and spin around - anything you can imagine where can’t see each other, and then suddenly, you can. If you think they’re cheesy - imagine the pure joy of seeing your mate randomly in a cafe. And then amplify that times 100. 

 It’s a beautiful way to enjoy a moment to yourselves, and get a bit of the portrait session out of the way, so you can do what you should be doing during canapés hour: getting pissed with your guests, not gallivanting around on a photoshoot”

My favourite point here is the bit about a first look not lessening the aisle impact. Nearly every couple I’ve ever spoke to who is unsure about first looks quotes this concern.

Believe us- it does not lessen that moment. At all.

These emotionally charged photos below of Sarah and Mick’s wedding were taken by Rick Liston (https://rickliston.com/).

I wasn’t present but I cried when I saw them and I assure you- as Sarah came up that aisle later in the day, there was alllll the emotion once again.

For them, it was one of their favourite parts of the day. Sarah is at pains to point out that she and Mick weren’t first look converts at first:

“We were worried we wouldn't get that ‘moment’ of seeing each other for the first time at the top of the aisle and were also unsure about doing something that just isn't the ‘done thing’. It was a completely new idea to us (no one we knew had ever done a first look) so we didn't have a 'gut feeling' about it and were on the fence for a while.

We were pretty convinced after talking to Nat and our photographer, Rick, and seeing some of Rick’s incredible shots from first looks, but I still don't think either of us knew just how special the first look would be”.

So, how did it work out?

 “It was hands down the best part of our day for so many reasons. We had more of a ‘moment’ than we ever would have had at the top of the aisle. I don't think either of us would have let our guard down enough with 120 people staring at us and our adrenaline pumping to have had the same moment we did with just us.

There were lots of tears and lots of laughter when we saw each other for the first time. It was a completely raw, unguarded, intimate moment just for us. We weren't even aware of the photographer and videographer's presence. 

Having the first look also meant we were able to take most of our bridal party and couple photos before the ceremony. This meant extra time with our guests over canapés. We spent so much time planning lawn games, live acoustic music, decorations etc and we were able to actually enjoy these things.

 Having the first look meant that by the time the ceremony began, we were both completely relaxed after hanging out together and with our bridal party for photos. This meant that were able to enjoy our ceremony so much. We were able to take a step back and soak it all in, and really listen to the incredible ceremony that Nat had written because we weren't nervous and had already relaxed right into the day by then. 

The first look was by far the best part of our whole day. We talk about it all the time and will never forget it. We have some incredibly beautiful photos because of it and we would recommend it to everyone!!!“

So what do the photographers think?

Cam Grove of Anchor and Hope Photography (https://www.anchorandhope.com.au/) is also a fan:

“You get to see each other for the first time on your wedding day on your own terms - in an intimate and private environment where you can easily commit the moment to memory (free of Aunt Sharon bawling unattractively into her pink tissues in the third row while cousin Rupert obscures the view of your betrothed as he fumbles with his latest smart device 6 inches from your nose).

Furthermore, it means never having to leave the party once it's begun. And let's face it  - isn't the opportunity for wild celebration at the heart of every wedding? Who wants to miss a minute of that?”

Miranda Stokkel (https://www.mirandastokkel.com) describes the raw emotion and intimacy of a First Look as ‘a photographer’s dream’.

 “You don't have the entire guest list watching you experience the moment- and you have the ability to freely speak to each other, embrace one another and not rush anything along. If you're a nervous person, having a ‘first look’ can often mean that you’re going to have less nerves at the ceremony because you've already seen each other”

 Are there any cons? I asked and Miranda kindly supplied these points:

 “Your friends and family aren’t there to witness the moment you see each other for the first time on your wedding day.

 “You don't have those nerves. You’re calmer, more settled and sometimes being vulnerable in front of your nearest and dearest creates more of an atmosphere and story for your guests”.

 She goes on to point out that if you include pre ceremony portraits- that is, photos with family and bridal party, you will be straight into the party after the ceremony but the best decision comes from considering the light at the time of year you’re being married. Your photographer is the best person to guide you so talk to them! They’ll research the light, sunset times, scout locations and ensure they get the best pics whilst honouring your wishes.

 A really good point is the vibes are pretty loose for portraits after the ceremony as the official part is done and it’s time to PARTY. Good photographers prefer to capture people in their natural relaxed states having fun, rather than posing them for shots. Big post ceremony vibes and a picnic basket of champs and a little speaker with some tunes are a great way to lube the pre party vibe further.

In short- it depends on your personal way of looking at it.  Talk to your photographer and make the plan that fits you best.

Can. Not. Lose