Six Top tips to Reduce Pre Ceremony Nerves

There are many ways to mitigate wedstress. Here’s my Six Top Tips

‘We hate being the centre of attention’

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this from couples planning their wedding I would be laying in a hammock in the Bahamas right now.

I reckon 80% of my clients tell me they are really nervous/ not keen on or violently opposed to public attention. So you’re not alone with this sentiment.

 However, there’s many ways to mitigate the stress. Here’s my Six Top Tips:

1.    Book experienced vendors and venue

 No brainer tbh. If all you have to worry about on the day is turning up looking your best- content in the knowledge that you have an experienced venue and killer vendors who you can rely on to not just do their job, but to smash it- that’s one layer of stress gone.

 2.    Choose vendors that you connect with

 I honestly find the idea of booking a celebrant or photographer without meeting them weird tbh. You spend so much time with them. Entrust them with such important tasks. It’s not enough that their photos are great or their reviews are great. That’s half of it. The other is- are they your people? Do you like them/ click with them?

 Non negotiable. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I’m OK with that. If someone else fits your vibe better I’ll let you know and give you a recommendation for someone who is a better fit. It’s better for all of us. I want to connect with not just you, but your guests also. I want you to look forward to meeting me for your planning session and comfortable to contact me at any time for advice.

 Once you have your people, you build a relationship and trust. Another layer of stress gone.

 3.    Work with your celebrant

 I’m going to assume you booked a good one because it’s only the biggest part of the day and pivotal for setting the tone of the entire celebration.

 A great celebrant will work with you to remove as much of the centre stage stress as possible. There’s a number of ways to do this. I’m not going to show my hand of hat tricks here but if you choose the right celebrant, they’ll implement the right strategies and have you completely ready for your ceremony.

 Wanna go into the day calm and ready? Choose the right captain. It’s as simple as that.

 Sidenote: an inexperienced celebrant is definitely cheaper but that discount also applies to your overall experience. More on celebrant pricing here.

4.    Buck tradition.

 My fave. Walking the aisle is traditional but not essential. It’s also the most nerve wracking part for a lot of people. So, either do it with people who keep you calm- your bestie, your brother, your dog or bookended by your folks or don’t- just be there sharing a drink with your guests pre ceremony or arrive with your partner.

 Likewise- if the idea of personal emotional vows in public makes you want to vomit- don’t. It’s not legally required. Share them in a card or letter to be read the morning of your wedding instead.

 5.    Unplug it

 Phones off please. God forbid Uncle Kevin’s 1995 Ipad is in the mix too. Same goes for family members who fancy themselves as professional photographers. Leave it to the people you’ve paid to do the job. Arriving to smiling expectant faces and not a sea of Iphones held aloft is way better for nerves and ahh human connection (remember that?!).

6.    Do a First Look

 Nervous about your emotions being out of control? Do a First Look. This involves meeting your partner pre ceremony for photos. It means you’re not seeing each other for the first time on the aisle. Some people hate this idea but it’s amazing for reducing pre game nerves and the images are often absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful. More on First Looks here.

 7.    Do a Final Run Through

 I do not, do onsite ‘rehearsals’ as a rule but I do do final run throughs- early in the week of the wedding at my local bar. It’s just me and you two. The people doing all the work on the day. You’ll likely forget everything I go through as far as positioning, spacing, microphone use etc but that 30 minute session means you feel ready, knowing how it will go down and that means one less thing to lose sleep about that week. On the day everything is prompted. Even if you didn’t do a run through it would still work well but it’s about mental preparation, the feeling of being informed and plus we get to connect again before the day over a celebratory drink.

Beaut image by legend Miranda Stokkel, whom I highly recommend.